So possessive!

Forming possessives and plurals can be confusing. This may be because both involve the letter “s.”

The most common possessive form is apostrophe + s: Bill’s nonsense. This rule applies even if the possessor’s name ends in “s”: Bowers’s issues.

Then there’s the plural possessive, s + apostrophe: the editors’ rules.

For forming plurals, drop any thought of apostrophes. You don’t need them. In most cases, just add an “s,” or in some cases, “es”: cats, homes, lenses, ranches. What about decades and numbers, you ask? Add an “s”: 1970s, 1990s. People in their 60s (or sixties).

And of course some words have unusual plural forms: people, men, women. And some plurals are the same as the singular: deer, elk, moose, trout.

Here are the answers to the bloopers in the last post:

5. Most fly line companies have their own propriety combinations of these ingredients to produce the line qualities they are looking for.

Propriety is a noun meaning proper demeanor or decorum. What’s needed here is the adjective proprietary, meaning an exclusive or unique technology belonging to a company.

4. How scandalous and utterly unprecedented in the anals of American politics.

Add an n: in the annals of politics. We’ve spent too much time in the other place of politics already.

3. Finally we were able to stalk close enough to take that beautiful buck with my .300 magnum rifle, shooting a 180-grain Nosler petition.

A petition is an appeal, often widely circulated, to redress grievances. This should be Nosler Partition, the brand name for a famous, specially designed hunting bullet from Nosler Bullet Company.

2. And you too may begin picking rocks off the stream bottom and identifying the insects there—maybe even taking some samples home in viles.

Wrong word. Vile is an adjective meaning horrid or disgusting. Should be vials, small containers for holding scientific or medical samples.

1. The Caney Fork tailwater was borne in the late 1950s from the deep waters of Center Hill Lake.

Borne means carried or supported. Should be born the late 1950s . . .

Here are some new editorial funnies with which to test yourself:

5. The ability to obtain healthcare is an important goal for middle class wager earners and their families.

4. Unsafe working conditions include a work area covered in a “thick film of drilling mud,” supposedly watertight equipment that actually leaked and safety equipment that was passed its inspection date.

3. With their gargantuan appetites and predisposition to feed on baitfish, the Great Lakes provide the ideal habitat for these beastly predators.

2. Although often misunderstood, Tom Gresham demonstrates that shooting from a bench is actually quite simple.

1. My old-time Republican friends say they have pretty much had it and their disdain for John McCain is palatable.

Comparatively superlative

Editors often see errors like this:

The Watson River is the smallest of the two, and is known for its rainbow trout fishing.

If you recognized that smallest is incorrect and should be smaller, you know about comparatives and superlatives, whether you realize it or not.

Comparatives and superlatives are special forms of adjectives that are used in comparing two or more things. In the example above, the writer incorrectly used the superlative form (smallest) when he should have used the comparative form (smaller).

How do you tell? Simple: Use the comparative when you’re comparing only two things, and the superlative for more than two.

Comparative: Choose the lesser of two evils.

Superlative: Murphy’s Law states that if anything can go wrong, it will, at the worst possible time.

Adjective      Comparative      Superlative

good                  better                        best

less                   lesser                        least

bad                     worse                       worst

Here are the answers to the bloopers in the last post:

5. David W. Johnson is described as Gov. David A. Paterson’s closest confidante, despite arrests in the aide’s past and disputes with women that drew the police.

Wrong noun form. A confidante (with an e) is a woman in whom one confides. For a man, it should be confidant.

4. And, no, Lloyd Blankfein getting a bonus of “only” $9 million this year won’t diffuse the populist outrage.

Wrong verb. Diffuse means to spread. Should be defuse, meaning to disarm or render harmless.

3. Anyone who thinks famous pro athletes are monogamous (even married ones) are delusional.

Lack of agreement between subject and verb. Anyone is singular, so its verb must be is: Anyone who thinks . . . is delusional.

2. After realizing he could build a better bullet, the Nosler Partition came into being.

Dangling modifier. This says that the Nosler Partition (a bullet brand) realized it could build a better bullet . . . or something. Rewritten thus: After John Nosler realized he could build a better bullet, the Nosler Partition came into being.

1. Being a small country of only 5.5 million people, I was surprised to learn that it is home to more than 40,000 red deer, as well as a host of other game animals.

Another dangling modifier. This says that the writer (I) is a small country of 5.5 million people. Rewritten thus: Because it’s a small country of only 5.5 million people, I was surprised to learn that it is home to . . .

Here are some new editorial funnies with which to test yourself:

5. I must admit my thoughts did go to Ruark’s “Death in the Tall Grass” due to the present bush conditions.

4. After having some cool beverages, our luggage and rifle cases were loaded into the hunt vehicles and we departed for camp.

3. Thousands of curiosity seekers diverged on the small town to see what possessions of Eddie’s would be auctioned.

2. Using a router with a 3/8” rabbit bit, cut a grove along the outer edge of the plaque.

1. Nonpsychotic major depression during pregnancy and the postpartum are a widespread health threat to mother, infants, and families.

Capital offense

Overuse of capital letters is a common spelling error. Everyone knows that some nouns (names of persons, places, things or concepts) need initial capital letters, and others don’t. The trick is figuring out when to use them.

There are two kinds of nouns: common nouns and proper nouns. Common nouns are not capitalized (unless they begin a sentence); proper nouns are always capitalized. Here’s one way to look at it: Common nouns are informal, while proper nouns are formal.

Proper nouns are the formal names of persons, or the official names of specific places or things: Bob, Sue, Chicago, Arizona, Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, Golden Gate Bridge, Smith & Wesson, United States.

Common nouns are informal or generic names: man, woman, city, state, hotel, bridge, firearm, nation. Most names of animals, fish, birds and plants are common nouns, not capitalized (even though they are names of specific entities): grizzly bear, rainbow trout, osprey, red oak.

What about the exceptions? (I knew it!) Some common nouns have proper-noun elements. Examples are animals, birds, plants or fish named for a specific, formal person, place, group, etc.: Stone sheep (named for Mr. Stone); Merriam’s turkey (named for Mr. Merriam); Kentucky coffee tree (named for the state); Apache trout (named for the tribe).

Here are this week’s editorial funnies to test yourself. See how many errors you can spot. Each example contains at least one.

5. At the height of the Great Depression, the unemployment rate in the United States stood at 25%.

4. He grew up in Detroit and his love for the city and its people are palpable, as is his grief for the horrors the city has endured.

3. We have a serious problem in this country—our champagne financing. TV covers candidates directly commiserate with their ability to sell ads, so an attractive candidate gets more coverage that someone not so photogenic.

2. The tragic news did not phase Jonathon as much as Melinda had expected.

1. After rounding the corner near the entryway, Wilson’s paranoia began to ease a little.

Here are the answers to the bloopers in the last post:

5. After we had conquered the mountain, we got off the horses and lead them down a steep tallow slope.

The past participle of to lead is led. Tallow is the purified fat of cattle or sheep; the correct word here is talus, for a pile of rocky debris.

4. She was a gorgeous, elegant lady and reminded him of a movie star, like Marilyn Monrow swan eye in a platinum mink stole.

The actress’s name was Marilyn Monroe. The author who wrote swan eye aimed high and missed; the correct word is soignée (pronounced SWEN-yay), French for stylishly well-groomed. (Pat yourself twice on the back if you got this one—it’s a fairly uncommon word. You might see it in Vogue or another high-end magazine.)

3. Every week, the Spotlight shits on a different member and highlights their professional accompaniments.

(Such treatment can’t make the members too happy!) Should be shifts onto. Wrong word; should be accomplishments.

2. Navigating the river and knowing which stretches the fish prefer along with knowledge of subtle nuisances in drift and presentation really make a guide on the Cumberland one of the best investments you can ever make.

Wrong word; should be nuances, meaning fine distinctions.

1. During the First World War, troops from the Royal Norfolk Regiment were fighting the Turks in Dardanelles, France, when witnesses reported seeing several strange clouds hovering above the battlefield, unaffected by the day’s strong winds.

(Two pats on the back if you got this one, too.) This sentence needs rethinking, not just rewriting. Because Dardanelles looks like a French word, and British troops fought in France in World War I, the author assumed that Dardanelles must be a French town. But it’s not a town, and it’s not in France—and the British in France were fighting Germans, not Turks.

The Dardanelles (aka the Hellespont) is an ocean strait in Turkey that connects the Black Sea and the Mediterranean. The described incident was part of the 1915–1916 Gallipoli Campaign, in which British troops invaded Turkey in an unsuccessful attempt to capture the straits and open a sea route from Europe to Asia.

Rewritten thus: During the Gallipoli Campaign in the First World War, troops from the Royal Norfolk Regiment were fighting Turkish forces at the Dardanelles, when witnesses reported . . .

The devil truly is in the details.

Passive restraint

Want to make your writing more interesting, and draw your readers into the action? Avoid the passive voice, at least most of the time. Use the active voice instead.

Which sentence would you rather read?

Passive voice: A long pass was launched toward the end zone by quarterback Tom Brady.

Active voice: Quarterback Tom Brady launched a long pass toward the end zone.

I chose the football example deliberately. Sportswriters almost never use the passive voice, which usually makes for pretty dull prose. No sportswriter can afford to be dull. Publisher, author and editor Nick Lyons would sometimes tell me jokingly: “The passive voice is liked by this author a lot.” If I was editing the book in question, he would invariably instruct me to extirpate the passive voice almost everywhere it reared its ugly head.

Is the passive voice always bad? No. If the subject is more important than the action, or if the performer of the action is unstated, the passive voice is fine—especially in a brief sentence:

The treasure ship was discovered in 1985.

But if you’re going to specify who discovered the ship, or include other details, it’s better to use the active voice:

Salvage diver Mel Fisher discovered the treasure ship off Key West in 1985.

Strictly speaking, the passive voice isn’t exactly wrong, but it’s not very interesting, either. In a long sentence, the passive voice can sound ridiculously dull and convoluted. The longer and more detailed the sentence, the worse it gets:

An enthusiastic group of NRA leaders in Phoenix was spoken before by personal development expert Marsha Petrie Sue.

Naturally, a good editor (or better yet, a conscious writer) will choose to go active:

Personal development expert Marsha Petrie Sue spoke before an enthusiastic group of NRA leaders in Phoenix.

Keep your writing as active as your lifestyle. Use passive restraint. When the passive voice is used too much by this writer, his readers get put to sleep by him.

Here are this week’s editorial funnies to test yourself. See how many errors you can spot. Each example contains at least one.

5. After we had conquered the mountain, we got off the horses and lead them down a steep tallow slope.

4. She was a gorgeous, elegant lady and reminded him of a movie star, like Marilyn Monrow swan eye in a platinum mink stole.

3. Every week, the Spotlight shits on a different member and highlights their professional accompaniments.

2. Navigating the river and knowing which stretches the fish prefer along with knowledge of subtle nuisances in drift and presentation really make a guide on the Cumberland one of the best investments you can ever make.

1. During the First World War, troops from the Royal Norfolk Regiment were fighting the Turks in Dardanelles, France, when witnesses reported seeing several strange clouds hovering above the battlefield, unaffected by the day’s strong winds.

Here are the answers to last week’s editing follies:

5. The sun began its slow but steady ascent into the cloudless, azure blue sky.

Redundant; azure means sky blue, so one of these adjectives should be deleted. I’d remove blue.

4. It is the slight of hand that the left does with rediculous name reversals (like “family planning”) that implies something that in fact does just not happen.

Wrong word; slight is an adjective meaning minor. This should be sleight (from the same word root as sly), meaning crafty deception. Misspelling; should be ridiculous. Transposed words; should be: . . . just does not happen.

3. The last undimmed major steelhead river in California, the Smith and its tributaries, the Middle and South Forks, offer 300 river miles officially designated Wild and Scenic.

Wrong word; should be undammed.

2. This doesn’t have to be about a hero who actually saved people’s lives, like that boy in Holland who stuck his finger in the dyke–it could be just ordinary people and there day-to-day heroism.

Wrong word; dyke is an unflattering slang term for a lesbian, especially one considered to have a masculine appearance. Should be dike, synonymous with dam. Wrong word; should be their.

1. Even when hatched from the incubator, Gordon said that out of a hundred eggs he would be lucky to get one bird that passed his inspection.

(Yikes! Sounds like something from a Star Trek movie.) Dangling modifier; this says that Gordon was hatched from the incubator. Rewritten thus: Gordon said that, even with roosters hatched from the incubator, out of a hundred eggs he would be lucky to get one bird that passed his inspection.

Hate to say I tolled you sew . . .

“English is a totally illogical language.”

So said a longtime friend of the family, who is from Japan and now lives in New York City. I couldn’t very well dispute her statement. First of all, she’s fluent in English as well as Japanese (and a few other languages to boot), and I don’t know Japanese, or the others. And second, she’s right–English is illogical.

Here are a couple of examples our friend Sonoko (don’t pronounce it like the name of the oil company–accent on the first syllable–SO-no-ko; her name means flower garden) cited.

Why is the plural of mouse mice, but the plural of house is houses? Why isn’t it mouses, or hice?

Why is “o-u-g-h” pronounced in five different ways? Bough rhymes with how. Rough rhymes with buff. Though rhymes with throw. Bought rhymes with not. Through rhymes with threw.

Modern English is a rich, simmering stew (why isn’t that spelled stough?) of the varied languages of the peoples who lived in Britain over the last few thousand years, plus what’s come from people in places that were once part of the British Empire: North America, Australia, India, swaths of Africa and the Middle East, and more.

Ancient Celtic peoples lived in Britain for thousands of years. The Romans came (and saw, and conquered) around the time of Christ, brought Latin, and ruled until about A.D. 450. Saxons came from mainland Europe starting in the 5th century. Later came Vikings from present-day Denmark, Sweden and Norway. William the Conqueror invaded from France in October 1066. (About half the words in English are either French words or derivatives thereof–justice, hospital, privilege, law, medicine, catastrophe, disaster, petty and restaurant are just a few examples.)

English is an alphabet soup of infinite complexity. Every day I thank my lucky stars that I grew up with it, unlike Sonoko, who started learning English as a teenager.

Here are this week’s editorial funnies to test yourself. See how many errors you can spot. Each example contains at least one.

5. The bad thing about a horse is they have a mind of their own, and no matter how hard you pull on those reigns a horse is a horse of coarse.

4. The executive offices housed on the fifth floor proudly display the many celebrities and superstars that have walked its halls.

3. Many sniper rifles are equipped with muzzle breaks and/or flash suppressors as well as high-quality optics.

2. There will be a private internment by invitation, with a public memorial service at the Whittington Center at a date to be announced. Our thoughts and prayers are with the family.

1. After pulling off two consecutive quarterly profits, spiraling consumer losses overwhelmed Citigroup’s strong trading results in the third quarter.

Here are the answers to last week’s editing follies:

5. Nuclear proliferation in the Middle East is a danger, and the Iranian regime’s foreign policy—which has involved support for militias and terrorist groups—make it a destabilizing force in the region.

Lack of agreement between subject and verb. The subject (that which performs the action of the verb) is “foreign policy,” which is singular, so the verb must also be singular, makes instead of make: The regime’s foreign policy makes it a destabilizing force.

4. Targets of this type were developed many years ago for the U.S. Army. While bulky at the time, the miniaturized electronic components of today make it possible to greatly reduce this mechanism in size.

Bulky is a dangling modifier. It modifies a word the writer did not intend, and in fact didn’t even write down: older electronic components, as opposed to the modern ones. As written, the sentence states that today’s electronic components were bulky in the past. (But that’s impossible–they didn’t exist in the past.) Rewritten thus: “While the electronic components of the time were bulky, their miniaturized modern counterparts make it possible . . .”

3. The Nielsen report said upscale retailers should consider stocking practical items because affluent households may forego jewelry and designer bags for the likes of generators, fireplace accessories, kitchen gadgets and family games.

Wrong word. Forego means to precede (literally go before), which in this context makes no sense. The correct verb is forgo, meaning to give up or to do without. Affluent households may pass up luxury items and choose more down-to-earth Christmas gifts instead.

2. In January 2005, via a simulcast meeting of the outdoor media attending the SHOT Show and SCI Convention, elected a panel of 10 outdoor journalists to serve as a steering committee to determine the viability of a communications organization focused wholly on the traditional outdoor sports.

The verb elected has no subject. (Who, exactly, elected the panel of outdoor journalists?) The writer doesn’t tell us. Rewritten thus: “. . . SCI Convention, the writers and broadcasters elected a panel . . .”

1. “Structure” is part of the typography of a lake, reservoir or river, and includes drop-offs, ledges and humps.

Wrong word. Typography is the arrangement of words on the printed page. The correct word is topography, the three-dimensional configuration of the landscape.

Effect an affect

The words affect and effect often cause confusion, and it’s easy to understand why. Not only are they homonyms (words that sound the same but have different meanings) but they can be either nouns or verbs, depending on the context and the way they’re used. Pretty frustrating. Let’s impose some method on this madness.

Here’s the basic rule: The correct choice of affect or effect depends on whether the word is a noun or a verb. So far so good. Unfortunately, there are exceptions. (Aren’t there always?)

1. Most of the time, when the word is a noun, you want effect.

Example: Did the medication have any effect?

That movie had amazing special effects.

2. Most of the time, when the word is a verb, you want affect (meaning to influence, alter or change).

Example: That situation does not affect me.

Apply the skin cream to the affected area.

The bad news is that there are exceptions to the rules: Affect can sometimes be a noun, and effect can sometimes be a verb. The good news is that these exceptions are relatively rare, at least in everyday usage.

Confronted with this choice, you have to figure out not only whether it’s a noun or a verb, but also what it means in the present context.

Exception number one is affect as a noun, often used in a medical context (told you they were rare). If you’re sure it’s a noun, but the context refers to someone’s overall appearance, bearing or demeanor, spell it with an “a.” In speaking, this is pronounced with the accent on the first syllable (AF-fect).

Example: The psychiatrist said the patient had a depressed affect.

Exception number two is somewhat more common, but still it’s rarely seen nowadays except in very formal writing. If you’re sure it’s a verb, but the word means to bring about, to create, or to bring into being (instead of to influence, alter or change) spell it with an “e.”

Example: Some skeptics doubt that monetary policy will effect a drop in unemployment.

And here are this week’s editorial funnies to test yourself. See how many errors you can spot. Each example contains at least one.

5. Nuclear proliferation in the Middle East is a danger, and the Iranian regime’s foreign policy—which has involved support for militias and terrorist groups—make it a destabilizing force in the region.

4. Targets of this type were developed many years ago for the U.S. Army. While bulky at the time, the miniaturized electronic components of today make it possible to greatly reduce this mechanism in size.

3. The Nielsen report said upscale retailers should consider stocking practical items because affluent households may forego jewelry and designer bags for the likes of generators, fireplace accessories, kitchen gadgets and family games.

2. In January 2005, via a simulcast meeting of the outdoor media attending the SHOT Show and SCI Convention, elected a panel of 10 outdoor journalists to serve as a steering committee to determine the viability of a communications organization focused wholly on the traditional outdoor sports.

1. “Structure” is part of the typography of a lake, reservoir or river, and includes drop-offs, ledges and humps.

Answers in next post.

And here are the answers to last week’s funnies.

5. While training in miserable weather (be it cold, snow, rain, or heat) can no doubt be useful, certainly such climactic conditions do not make it easier to master the skills needed.

Wrong word. Climactic is the adjectival form of the noun climax. Writing about the weather, this author wants climatic, the adjectival form of climate.

4. The raid by Israeli forces at Entebbe, Uganda, in July 1976 using silenced 9mm Ingram M10s and the West German rescue of kidnapped passengers at Mogadishu in the Sudan, where silenced Heckler & Koch MP5 9mm SMGs were used, are just two examples of the usefulness of sound suppressors.

Oops. Mogadishu is the capital city of Somalia; it’s not in Sudan.

3. Those who now live in cities are often disconnected from the land. Their only brush with wildlife occurs on the National Graphic Channel or Animal Plant.

Um, that would be National Geographic Channel and Animal Planet.

2. Once having tasted the climatic pleasure of this elicit activity, he found ways to repeat it.

Two wrong words. The first is the flipside of number 5; in this case, it should be climactic. In the second case, elicit is a verb, meaning to draw out or call forth, as in elicit a response. Here you want the adjective illicit, meaning forbidden or illegal.

1. Enemies are forced into shaky alliances. And when the woman Fang loves is accused of betraying her people, her only hope is that Fang believes in her. Yet in order to save her, Fang must break the law of his people and the faith of his brothers. That breech could very well spell the end of both their races and change their world forever. The war is on and time is running out . . .

Wrong word. The breech is the part of a gun at the rear end of the bore, where the cartridge is loaded. The correct word here is breach, synonymous with break.

Excuse me, but your modifier is dangling Part Deux

Are we having fun yet?

Readers of my recent posts about editing are probably getting the idea that editors can’t take anything for granted. That’s true–we can’t. Editing is detail-oriented, painstaking work. However, if you love to read, it can also be immensely rewarding.

In many ways it’s more art than science, which is what makes it so much fun.

Each of the sentences below contains at least one error. See how many you can spot.

5. While training in miserable weather (be it cold, snow, rain, or heat) can no doubt be useful, certainly such climactic conditions do not make it easier to master the skills needed.

4. The raid by Israeli forces at Entebbe, Uganda, in July 1976 using silenced 9mm Ingram M10s and the West German rescue of kidnapped passengers at Mogadishu in the Sudan, where silenced Heckler & Koch MP5 9mm SMGs were used, are just two examples of the usefulness of sound suppressors.

3. Those who now live in cities are often disconnected from the land. Their only brush with wildlife occurs on the National Graphic Channel or Animal Plant.

2. Once having tasted the climatic pleasure of this elicit activity, he found ways to repeat it.

1. Enemies are forced into shaky alliances. And when the woman Fang loves is accused of betraying her people, her only hope is that Fang believes in her. Yet in order to save her, Fang must break the law of his people and the faith of his brothers. That breech could very well spell the end of both their races and change their world forever. The war is on and time is running out . . .

Answers in next post.

Here are the answers from last week’s collection of misfires:

5. To be considered insane in New York State, Shawcross’s team had to show quite specifically that at the time of the various offenses—every single one—he suffered from a mental defect such that either he did not know what he was doing or could not appreciate that it was wrong.

Here, “considered insane” is a dangling modifier. It wasn’t the team of defense lawyers who were considered insane, but Shawcross. Rewritten thus: For Shawcross to be considered insane in New York State, his defense team had to show that . . . (Arthur Shawcross, 1945-2008, was a notorious serial killer. His story is gruesome and not for the faint of heart.)

4. Driving toward the park boundary from the center of Tuolumne Meadows, 13,053-foot Mount Dana dominates the horizon to the east.

(Seems unlikely the mountain does a lot of driving.) Here, “driving” is a dangling modifier. Rewritten thus: As you drive toward the park boundary from the center of . . .

3. I fired my .375 Merkel double, and the buffalo took off downhill, but made it only about 75 yards before he dropped dead. The PH told me that the hit was in the juggler.

Wrong word. A juggler is a person who juggles balls, or a busy life. The correct word is “jugular,” the name for two veins in the neck that return blood from the brain to the heart.

2. Damian, the tracker, finally spotted two lone stallions.

This is an oxymoron (two words that can’t go together because each negates the other). By definition, a lone stallion is . . . alone, the only one present—so there can’t be two. The easiest fix is to delete the word “lone.”

1. Frequently a fish would leap fully out and take the fly in his decent, a thrilling site and one of the reasons the big spiders make such exciting fishing.

Wrong words. The first should be “descent” and the second should be “sight.” A site is a place or a location. A sight is something seen.

If you have a sentence that contains an editing error, please share it.

Bill

Excuse me, but your modifier is dangling

Hi, my name’s Bill, and I’m an editor.

I don’t have OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). I have OCRD, obsessive-compulsive reading disorder. Put something, anything, written in front of me and I’ll read it—I just have to. Even the ingredients on cereal boxes. How else would a little kid have learned to spell ascorbic acid and niacinamide and vitamin B palmitate?

OCRD might seem sad, even pathetic, except that now (to my frequent disbelief) people actually pay me to read stuff and correct the spelling and grammar . . . and watch out for dangling modifiers. So maybe OCRD is a frown turned upside down.

The dangling modifier (aka dangling participle) is the unzipped fly on the copy of life. And your editor has to remind you, politely, to zip up before you head back out to the party. It’s also one of the most common errors in writing, and frequently the cause of inadvertent hilarity.

A dangling modifier is a grammatical error in which a modifier (usually an adjective) modifies the wrong word in the sentence, that is, not the word the writer intended. My dad was an English and Latin teacher (maybe OCRD is genetic) and here’s his favorite example:

Buried deep within the earth, the scientists said the blast would be harmless.

The dangling modifier here is “buried.” It modifies the wrong word (scientists). It’s meant to modify, well, a word the writer neglected to write down. We certainly hope it’s not the scientists who were buried! It had to be something else—presumably an explosive device the scientists were testing.

Below are more errors taken from actual copy I’ve edited. Numbers 5 and 4 are examples of dangling modifiers, but in more complex sentences than the one above. Naturally this makes the dangling modifiers harder to spot. If you can find them, pat yourself on the back—but gently, so you don’t dislocate your shoulder, as my mother used to say.

The others are just for fun. “Answers” in next post.

5. To be considered insane in New York State, Shawcross’s team had to show quite specifically that at the time of the various offenses—every single one—he suffered from a mental defect such that either he did not know what he was doing or could not appreciate that it was wrong.

4. Driving toward the park boundary from the center of Tuolumne Meadows, 13,053-foot Mount Dana dominates the horizon to the east.

3. I fired my .375 Merkel double, and the buffalo took off downhill, but made it only about 75 yards before he dropped dead. The PH told me that the hit was in the juggler.

2. Damian, the tracker, finally spotted two lone stallions.

1. Frequently a fish would leap fully out and take the fly in his decent, a thrilling site and one of the reasons the big spiders make such exciting fishing.

Editor, heal thyself 2

Here’s hoping that last post on editing (especially the cringe-worthy number 10, from our own book) was amusing, and also explained a bit of what editors look for, which is, well, everything. Sometimes even the dates of historic events.

One author wrote: “The Battle of the Little Bighorn, also known as the Battle of Wounded Knee . . .” Oops.

The Battle of the Little Bighorn was June 26, 1876, in Montana; Wounded Knee was December 29, 1890, in South Dakota. Fourteen years and 400 miles apart, and with opposite outcomes, the former a defeat of the US Cavalry, the latter a defeat of the Sioux.

Editors spend a lot of time looking stuff up.

Many astute readers have requested a follow-up post “with the answers” (so to speak) explaining the errors in the ten examples given earlier.

Here are the original sentences from the previous post, with the erroneous word or words in boldface, and my explanation below each one.  So, without further ado:

10. This is a great place to get views out over the pretty lake and the marsh, with a variety of birds and incest to see throughout the year.

No, that would be insects.

9. Rivers that sweep slowly through lush valleys and pastureland will have a tendency to freeze quicker than rivers that carve their way through a swift, majestic, boulder-filled canyon.

(The swift canyon darted away!) Rivers can be swift. Canyons can’t. Canyons pretty much stay in one place, not moving at all, never mind swiftly. Rewritten as “. . . than rivers that flow swiftly through majestic, boulder-filled canyons.”

8. Watching the troupe of lowland gorillas wander through their habitat, Gail could imagine she was on an adventure in deepest Africa.

A troupe is a group of dancers or other entertainers who perform together. For gorillas, it’s a troop.

7. The Green River below Flaming George Dam offers great fishing for rainbow trout.

The correct name is Flaming Gorge. If George is flaming, someone fetch a fire extinguisher.

6. Utah’s Green River below Flamingo Gorge Dam is one of the most famous trout streams in the West.

The correct name is Flaming Gorge. There are no flamingos in Utah.

5. A wool baklava is an excellent choice for hunting in late fall and will keep your face and head warm even in the coldest weather.

(If you put baklava on your head for a hunting trip, you might attract bears–and hunting guides will deduce you’re new at the game.) Should be balaclava, the Russian word for a knit garment that covers the face and head. Baklava is a delicious Greek pastry made with phyllo dough, honey and walnuts.

4. Boats are usually dropped down embankments alongside the canoe launches using a variety of wenches, homemade slides, and plenty of elbow grease.

Should be winches, mechanical devices for lifting and moving heavy objects. Wench is a lewd, disrespectful olde English term for a tavern serving girl, reflecting on these women’s supposedly loose morals.

3. Quietly, I set up my Predator Shooting Sticks, upholstered my Magnum Research .45-70 pistol and laid the barrel on the sticks.

Did you upholster it in leather, or did you go with a subtle pastel fabric? Should be unholstered.

2. The gays at Southeastern Anglers make their living on the river, and know the stream and its trout better than anyone else.

Should be guys. It’s amazing what a single letter can change.

1. One day, we were fly fishing for strippers in front of singer Jimmy Buffet’s shorefront home in the hamptons.

Should be stripers, for striped bass, Morone saxatilis. (Did you try the stuffed mushrooms at the buffet? They’re delicious.) The famous singer’s (“Margaritaville”) name is Buffett. Should be The Hamptons (cap. T and H), which refers collectively to the townships of Northampton and East Hampton on Long Island, New York, where people like Jimmy Buffett have bought shorefront real estate.

I admit that last one is a bit obscure, but in editing, as in many other areas of life, the devil is in the details.

Bill Bowers

Editor, heal thyself

Think professional editors don’t need editing when they change hats and put their own fingers on the keyboard? Think again.

Everybody’s writing needs the eye of a good editor. If a doctor falls ill, she doesn’t treat herself—she seeks the advice of another doctor.

When you’ve been editing outdoor writers’ copy as long as I have, you read (and hopefully, improve) a lot of unintentionally hilarious sentences. And if you’re a bit of a pack rat, as I am, you tend to collect these missed shots, blown casts and big ones that got away—because they remind you of your own fallibility as a writer. You say: “There but for the grace of God go I,” knowing that a single letter can spell the difference between eloquence and falling flat on your face.

Here are some of my favorite bloopers, taken from actual copy I’ve edited over the years, before it was published in an outdoor magazine or book.

Clearly, we are not immune: Number 10 is from our own forthcoming book, 50 Hikes in Central New York’s Leatherstocking Country. Number 1 actually contains three errors. If you catch them all, congratulations. You may have an inner editor you need to get in touch with.

Enjoy.

10. This is a great place to get views out over the pretty lake and the marsh, with a variety of birds and incest to see throughout the year.

9. Rivers that sweep slowly through lush valleys and pastureland will have a tendency to freeze quicker than rivers that carve their way through a swift, majestic, boulder-filled canyon.

8. Watching the troupe of lowland gorillas wander through their habitat, Gail could imagine she was on an adventure in deepest Africa.

7. The Green River below Flaming George Dam offers great fishing for rainbow trout.

6. Utah’s Green River below Flamingo Gorge Dam is one of the most famous trout streams in the West.

5. A wool baklava is an excellent choice for hunting in late fall and will keep your face and head warm even in the coldest weather.

4. Boats are usually dropped down embankments alongside the canoe launches using a variety of wenches, homemade slides, and plenty of elbow grease.

3. Quietly, I set up my Predator Shooting Sticks, upholstered my Magnum Research .45-70 pistol and laid the barrel on the sticks.

2. The gays at Southeastern Anglers make their living on the river, and know the stream and its trout better than anyone else.

1. One day, we were fly fishing for strippers in front of singer Jimmy Buffet’s shorefront home in the hamptons.

Bill Bowers